Joans jottings

I can’t say I’m impressed with supermarket promotions but Coles latest Stikeez collectables has really captured the grand kids interest. As the promotion is now winding down, instead of the 1 I was entitled, the generous checkout person gave me 9! Wasn’t I popular at Paul’s birthday tea last night. Still the elusive last one to complete Jai’s collection evaded him.

Paul sent this photo to me this morning.

Shakira had to be at the school 7am this morning to go on an organised overnight camp for the aboriginal children to educate them in their culture. So it was an early start for everyone. Paul went to Coles to get a few things and was given a handful of Stikeez. Jackpot!

Paul got a very welcome/timely phone call 5pm last Tuesday from Centrelink to say that his claim was accepted. So pleased for him, it’s been a saga.

I’m looking forward to lunch today with Tracey and Di from work. Always good to catch up.

Yesterday, 13 March was scheduled in the Family Court for interim hearing for custody of the children. Paul’s solicitor had been contacted the previous day asking for an extension of 2 months! Paul said that he couldn’t afford to delay because Centrelink had placed a hold on his paperwork until the result of the pending court case and he had exhausted his savings. The decision was made to proceed. Pauls solicitor had obtained a significant amount of damning reports from mandated sources.

The judge agreed to set another date allowing another 6 weeks for the ICC ( independent children’s lawyer) and Sam’s lawyer to prepare. So it’s now set for 6 May.

Paul’s solicitor asked for and got an official court order/letter for Sam to sign for the transfer of benefits to Paul backdated to 1 February so that he can present it to Centrelink and start receiving some payment.

Other adjustments with visitation times requested by Sam.

Paul solicitor requested that her unsupervised/ unapproved visits to the school cease. She asked to be able to attend upcoming events and P&C meetings.

Her partner is to have no contact with the children due his long and recent police record.

The ICC lawyer has requested that Paul continue with dance lessons for Shakira. And a list of Doctors, dentist, podiatrist, speech therapy, psychologist appointments be kept.

Paul’s solicitor asked that Samantha desist in making appointments when children are in Paul’s care.

We spent from 2pm to 4:30 pm coming to a working agreement for all parties. Even when we went back in front of the judge he agreed to give the 3 solicitors extra time (15 mins) to come up with an agreed upon plan.

That done I’m not confident that it will be enough time. They, the solicitors are all amazed at the voluminous amount of reports/ records that have been amassed.

I can’t believe how I allowed this all to monopolize my time over the last few weeks. The sleepless nights, concerns and worry about the kids. Paul is dealing so well with all of the frustrations and adjustments he has had to make to his life.

He was given a couple of days work last Sunday and Monday, it all helps.

So now we do our best until the next Court date, not knowing what the future may bring.

Today would have been our 47th Wedding anniversary. It’s been 6 months since Chris died and I’m still caught up in getting affairs in order. It’s difficult to move forward when things are in limbo.

Because of Paul’s current situation and the Family Court matters it’s been necessary to delve back in the past and revisit some stressful and difficult times. Again I’m appreciative of our amazing network of friends who are again being supportive. I thank John D for his assistance in my preparing a statement and proof reading my effort. It totally monopolize my time for the best part of a week and 20 pages later as well as time double checking details and facts, it’s done!

Originally the Court date was 4 March but now 13 March. George Pells Court date is also the 13 March so it’s shaping up to be and important day.

On Thursday I accompanied Paul on a trip to Nowra with the children for an appointment with the Independent Children’s Lawyer. We arrived early so to fill in time Paul drove out to Cambewarra to show the kids where I had spent my high school years and Paul had enjoyed many school holidays at his Nan and Pops on their farm. A trip down memory lane.

Back in Nowra with time to kill we continued our history lesson and went to the cemetry. I wanted to show them where my mother and stepfather were buried and pay our respects. Mum would have been 93 yo on 2 March. The 3 years since her passing have gone quickly.

We arrived for the appointment only to be told that it had been cancelled and would need to be rescheduled for next week in Wollongong!!

The school weren’t happy for the kids to miss today and it was a mufty day!

So back home. Jai continued the role of navigator on the way back. We had him reading the signage, noting the distance, direction and points of interest. Plenty of road works to keep their interest.

Shakira was reading in the back seat, she has four books on the go and had chosen Great Expectations for the trip. Not bad for an 11yo.

Yesterday was our monthly sewing day for DFGs and we produced 30 completed kits.

Feeling very proud of myself for successfully being able to attend my first Rolling Solo event at Bendeela over the last 3 days. It was a huge challenge but I did it! Slept well in my own bed last night.

There were 37 Rollers who attended and 9 of us were newbies. Lots of laughs and stories. We had activities such as rice paper roll demo which became lunch, ideal healthy meal when travelling. Boom painting, ukulele lesson (yes I did that one!), Macrame knots, kayaking. swimming. Plus lots of practical information and guidance available from our resident experts. We learnt more about tag a longs and plans for the big trip to Exmouth in October. All very exciting. We had a shared meal on Saturday night with an amazing spread of food. Sangria was the tipple of choice for Bendeela. It brought back memories of Spain. That was a great holiday, shared with Denise C. Good times.

Sharon looked after the house and dog over the weekend. She left me some Spaghetti Bolognese from her cook up for Paul and some choc chip cookies.

Today I have an appointment at Wollongong Memorial Gardens to make arrangements for a resting place for Chris so more decisions.

Where to begin, my head is just swimming with thoughts and stirred up feelings from the past.

It’s been a big week. Over the long weekend we have celebrated Sharons birthday on Saturday ( tea at Pauls, cake & candles) and #2’s 9th birthday on Sunday with a big family lunch on Sunday here. Kids in good spirits and eating like little champs.

Paul waiting on FACs for school arrangements prior to long weekend.

Big day, all ready for school.

Arrived early, their mother was there with her current boyfriend and a birthday cake for Jai to share with the class! Kids happy to see her. Paul half expecting her to be there but not comfortable that she was. She asked if he also was going in to meet the teachers. He declined as he would be talking with them tomorrow.

After drop off on Thursday, Jake was running around in the playground and tripped over hurting his head. School concerned, suggesting Paul take him home which he did.

That afternoon, Paul picked them up at usual 2:30 and then for pre made radiology appointments for Shakira and Jai at 2:45 & 3:00. During this time he received a msg from a lawyer acting for Samantha notifying him that he was due in court tomorrow at 9am and sent through a copy of all the paperwork.

She wants custody of the kids and to prevent them from going to Dapto Public School. They are to stay at Kemblawarra School because of their special needs.

Paul immediately contacted the caseworker to tell her of the court apperance tomorrow. Her eventual response gave no support or advice. There had been no help since original meeting 3 weeks ago when reassessing the children’s autism and special needs was discussed with the possibility of them attending one of 2 local public schools. Also reviewing their activity list and regular doctor, specialist, psychologist, speech therapy commitments. All of which needed to be organised in a manageable way so that the children were not up to attend preschool activities or after school activities after 7:30 at night. FACs were happy to assist. They continue to work with Samantha and must have known of her intentions. Her lawyer would have discussed matters with them to prepare their case the previous week. Paul had less than 2 working hours to arrange for his own representation.

Paul dropped kids off at school and I met him to accompany him at the family court hearing. He had no choice but to ask for an adjournment to have time to prepare his defense and response to her affidavit.

We spoke with her lawyer. She told Paul that FACs had advised they are not issuing care and protection proceedings. He had not been told this but it did explain the non response to his communications.

She asked if he wanted to talk to the court lawyer re proceedings today. She arranged a meeting for him. The lawyer explained that she had spoken with their mother so had a conflict of interest to discuss much but provided information on applying for legal aid and Centrelink assistance.

There appeared to be a lot of confussion about the case, us included. Finally heard just prior to lunch break.

The outcome, Paul continues to have custody until 4/3/2019 when next appearance is scheduled. They continue to attend Kemblawarra school. Visitation to be arranged for mother and maternal grandparents in a supervised capacity.

On a different note, #3 grandson lost a front tooth last night. Hope the tooth fairy came.

I’ve graduated to less supervision at the gym so can go when I wish and as often.

Van caught another rat. Guess you have to do things to get your share of attention.

My campervan will arrive ? April and hopefully ready in May. Very timely as it turns out. I shall be ready for a holiday by then.

Lots of rumbling of thunder about this morning with the promise of rain. Very welcome after days of summer heat and humidity. So dry in the garden.

We, especially Paul remain in a state of flux over family matters. He is managing the day to day care and kids are settling in and seem happy. School is looming up quickly and no decision has been made on where they will attend this year. FACs caseworker told us that they would liase and be involved in the changes necessary to transfer them to the local school. Paul is chasing this up today as uniforms etc need to be bought for next week!

I have taken the big step of joining a gym! I saw my new  friend Gina at HCF yesterday to finalise changes to my health cover and decided to use the fitness offer. So on her recommendation I enrolled at our local Curves. Getting  on their scales only reinforced the fact that this was a good decision. Now I’m  commited to 3 sessions over the next week, see how it goes.

Another decision I’ve  made is to join a group of Rolling Solo members at a weekend event at Bendeela in February. I have a tent or a better option would be Chris’s  much loved swag. Depending on the weather that could be nice.

Today I’ll  spend at Paul’s to free him up to get things done. Busy times ahead.

 

Here we are, 2 weeks into the new year and 2019 has thrown up more challenges.

Last Wednesday Paul was contacted by family services who had removed the kids from their mothers care after a visit to her home the previous evening. They had the kids in their care until Paul finish work. The plan was for them to meet at Pauls house where they would do the required checks and assessments. This resulted in the kids being left in Pauls care and for him to make arrangements to have sole custody. They would offer as much support as he required and made a time to meet the next day to discuss matters further.

I had been updated by Paul over the day and when I saw them all that evening they had eaten and were settling in. FACs and the police liason had left. The kids had no clothes with them or shoes. Fortunately Paul had PJs and a change of clothes for them but would need more. Family services were aware and would bring clothes the next day. It was obvious that the kids were not aware of the enormity of what had transpired and we as well had little guarantee that the situation would not be challenged. Paul had been told to ring 000 in the event of any trouble occurring.

The FACs meeting was changed to Friday. Paul had let his work know the situation and would need to at least have the rest of the week off.

The kids were happy to have a quiet day at home which suited as the weather and having no shoes restricted a lot of activities.

The meeting on Friday with FACs was helpful. They brought with them newly purchased clothes for the kids. Paul would get them shoes. Until legal advice was sort and official custody in place, school arrangements couldn’t be made. We had voiced our concerns about existing arrangements and they will reaccess/review those concerns.

The weekend had more of the family on deck. We had time to spend with the kids which helped Paul do shopping etc, Sharon and I did a shop to stock up on neccessary items. The kids are in holiday mode but missing their mum.

As Sharon said, it takes a village to raise a child and the village has been activated.

New Years day. Denise and I had arranged to go to the movies and then lunch. We would meet at the cinema for 9:30 session of Mary Poppins (the best choice, and it is school holidays)!

I left in good time prepared to use the parking station as I probably needed a few hours and most street parking was for maximum 2hrs.

Aware that it was a public holiday I was pleased to see that the two entry lanes were open so proceeded to enter the car park. It seemed odd that the two exit lanes were closed off. Taking a ticket I drove up to the first level, noting that I was the only vehicle parked. Not too concerned as I thought the shops may be opening at 10:00. I left the car and went to the lift only to find it wasn’t working. Not a problem, I had time to go to the escalator entrance. It was situated on the next level up and on my way I noticed another car parked. When I reached the entry it was obvious that the door was locked and not a sole about. I explored a bit further and walked to a corridor that linked the carpark to the shops. It too was locked. Now I was getting concerned. On the way back a young asian woman came over, she was trying to access the shops without success. I rang the phone number on their signage only to be told to leave a message as that number was unattended. Not very helpful as I could see the possibility of nobody being there until tomorrow. I walked back to the carpark enterance which was now also closed, we were locked in!

Then we heard a door being opened and saw a security man doing his rounds. He didnt expect to see us and wanted to know how we got in. The carpark was closed because no shops were open except the supermarket on the other side and that carpark was open with free parking for the day.

He couldn’t let us out but rang someone else who would let us out when we needed to leave. I had let Denise know my plight and wanted to get to the cinema. We now had access to lifts within the shopping centre so we could access the next section where the supermarket is, but no, each approach to that section was fenced off and padlocked. What to do?

Then we both heard someone approaching, It was a female security officer. She was surprised to see us. We explained the situation to her and she rang another security officer who had keys for the carpark. We met him there. He couldn’t understand how the gates were open for us to get in. He wondered if the timer had activated automatically then closed.

We drove the cars to the exit which was now open, I was behind and could see that the boom gate wasn’t opening with the ticket. More delay while another staff member drove over to open the boom manually. He suggested going to the other carpark which I did.

I got to the cinema having missed all the adds and a little of the beginning of Mary Poppins which turned out to be very enjoyable. Not bad considering the experience I had just been through.

So much for 2019 beginnings.

Hard to believe that Christmas has come and gone. We gathered for our usual traditional Christmas day celebration which was rather diminished by Chris’s absence. It was difficult for each of us but we had a good day. I can’t say quiet because the grandchildren joined in for Christmas lunch at the eleventh hour and made a noisy nine people around the table. Great excitement with present shareing and opening.

We adjourned to Pauls house where four excited kids rode around on new bikes with varous levels of proficiency. The youngest with training wheels blitzed it.

Ian had his birthday yesterday and we are on the verge of the New Year. Looking forward to 2019.